Facing the Unknown

As an astrologer psychotherapist who has been at this 40 years, I have been thankful for the guided intuition of Neptune as a drive for the mystical, the ethereal yearning for the mist that just dissipates before you grasp its humidity.   Cardinal  Neptune in my 10 house helped myself explain contradictions to myself.  Why I was not out in the world asserting my identity in action for self promotion, why I preferred at times to be invisible, and at others was full of emotional inspiration that I would share thoughts with skeptics and could debate for hours.

Now at 68, I am as mature as any summer quince on a tree; and like most fruit ready to become rotten, I am now filled with a new yearning, as I feel myself decompose and my seeds disperse. The books I have written have said enough.   My dreams are the only input into my mystical connection to God.  As such they , only they, provide new insights into how my identity will change next.  Oh yes, Age Progression and transits amplify the process of self discovery too.

It is not so much that I have exemplified the universal love of Neptune toward my fellow man.  I have Neptune oppose my moon natally and had to withdraw the constant tendency to project the worst motives on my fellow men- that  they were deceiving me, betraying me or just making fun of me.  So that enthusiastic identification with ‘universal love of man’ was doomed from the start.  Also with Neptune in close square with my Sun, I was not confident that my seeking independence would result in my being a minister, preacher or some other religious teacher.  Although I always was inclined in that direction.  But the collective thoughts on religion as practised  left me cold; my personal deceptions at the hands of pastors soured me to it.  I ended up being a clinical social work psychotherapist for the past 30 years.  Not so bad, not so good.

Now I am anticipating a new identity.  One generated by the Self and transcendent consciousness as developing archetypes innervate my aspirations.  I am in no hurry.  I am not excited.  I am not even hopeful.  Yet the excitement is still there.  I read of storms on Neptune’s gaseous surface that show something is brewing even though I don’t know what forms the Unknown will materialize for me.

When I do self reflection I often criticize myself for worrying about other’s responses one way or another- positive or negative toward me.  Why should I care what others think?  Yet I do, deeply; so deeply sensitized to rejection that every measured study, every attempt to employ like-minded individuals, every presentation will be guarded to protect my once fragile identity from criticism.  Neptune needs protection from the critical epistemology of Virgo.

My second book Life Passages, is my final foray into the world of the public.  Next I become an heir to the invisible realm of Neptune- and to what ever currents I choose to become one with.  At this point this is what I have discovered by delving into dreams and Neptune:

  1.  There is an afterlife and dreams connect one to others who have passed on; they are not corporal bodies but states of consciousness that exist in a field.  We should not fear death.
  2. Past lives exist and karmic influences determine our birth choices, birth traumas and patterns of life style. These are developmentally determined and at critical stages,  these can be transcended or changed.
  3. Psychic phenomenon is the rule and we would do well just to accept the gifts that come from being a pure channel of these energies.  Being grateful.
  4. Each one should discover his own purpose.  There could be no doubt as to the meanings of uniqueness and significance of each individual as he/she lives out his karmic, familial, patriarchal, and cosmic destiny.  The horoscope is a map for this.
  5. There is no voice coming from the sound boxes that leads anywhere.  Sounds from the sweetness of nature will vibrate in your silence and you in turn, will respond and move in the world in the right direction.  We must protect the earth.  Picture below.  Library at Ephesus.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *